Teresia Wanza described her depression and suicidal thoughts after discovering that her spouse had secretly married another lady.
“We met on campus and instantly fell in love. I had already become a mother by the time I graduated. “We moved in together and later married,” she explained.
“With a bright future ahead of us, we worked hard to achieve our objectives. My husband got a decent job in a government institution, so we moved from Kawangare slum, where we were living in a shanty mabati house, to a gated estate. That wasn’t all; we were also able to acquire a couple cars, which revolutionized my husband’s life.
“By the time we were changing residences, my hubby and I had agreed that I would stay home to look after the baby till a later age thus this meant that I had to leave my job until she was enrolled in school.
“I’m not sure if it was money or my husband’s character was hidden while we were struggling. He changed radically the instant money arrived. “The man who used to come home early would return after midnight, inebriated.”
“I tried everything I could to figure out what was wrong, but there was no definite cause,” she explained.
“During that on-and-off cycle, I overheard him on the phone asking for a CT scan or ultrasound. I wasn’t pregnant or planning to be at the time. So I became inquisitive and wanted to know who was organizing the scan.
“I tried spying on his phone but I got discovered and received an unbelievable slap. That didn’t stop me; I went ahead and started asking questions of his close friends and relatives, but no one could open up and tell me what I needed to know; instead, I received limited information. Thus, with less proof to hold him accountable, I decided to keep inquiring.
“Fortunately for me, he planned a get-together party for family and friends at our place. During the evening, one of his friends’ women inquired about my comfort level with a co-wife. I was intrigued by her inquiry and wanted to receive a straight answer.
“When I urged her to expound, she merely brushed me off and instructed me to seek from her relative. I approached her relative for clarification, and he verified.”
“I was enraged! When I confronted him about it, he did not deny it. We raised the situation to his parents, who forcefully told me that polygamy is permitted in their culture and that if I felt uncomfortable, I was free to leave and let those who are ready step in. He also brought another woman to the meeting, whom he introduced as his third wife.
“I felt as though the world had collapsed around me. I couldn’t think of anything else than separation. When we got back from the village, I grabbed a couple of my belongings and called it a day.
“It wasn’t easy starting from scratch. I fell into a deep depression, which nearly ended my life. “I attempted suicide three times before being rescued and sent to a counsellor,”
“I believe it took nearly a year to recuperate. I truly difficult to move on, especially when I thought of the obstacles we had to overcome before succeeding. Yet I thank God that I am now okay and can communicate without fear of being hurt.
“Your mental health is crucial, never murder yourself or grow mentally unbalanced only because of love. If you feel that things aren’t working out, simply walk away. There are many people who will unconditionally love you. “I moved on and am content with my present relationship,” she added.