Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has spoken up for the first time about the grief she felt as a result of her husband David’s alleged romance with his then-personal assistant, Rebecca Loos.
Almost 20 years after it was reported that he and Loos became close while he was playing for Real Madrid in Spain, Mrs Beckham confessed that the months following were the “hardest” of her life and that she no longer felt like the pair “had each other.”
Beckham revealed that he still doesn’t know how they got through the 2003 crisis, but he and his wife knew they had to ‘fight for their family,’ and that they felt like they were ‘drowning’ as their high-profile marriage was in the news for months.
The revelation was made in Beckham, a four-part Netflix documentary that follows him from his infancy to his current job as co-owner of US club Inter Miami.
Beckham, 48, stunned the globe when the News Of The globe daily exposed his alleged relationship with Loos. Mrs Beckham had elected to stay in the UK at the time so that her two young sons, Brooklyn and Romeo, may continue their education. Beckham acknowledges that the decision left him feeling lonely.
In the fourth and last episode, Victoria Beckham, 49, looked to fight back tears when asked if this was the most difficult time in their marriage. ‘100 percent,’ she admitted. ‘It was the most difficult time for us. Because it felt like the entire universe was conspiring against us.
‘Here’s the thing: if I’m being absolutely honest, we were at odds. Up until Madrid, it felt like we were up against everyone else, but we were together, connected, and had each other. But it didn’t feel like we had each other when we were in Spain. That’s unfortunate. I can’t tell you how difficult that was. And how it made me feel.’
‘When I initially moved to Spain, it was difficult since I had been part of a club and a family for my entire career, from the age of 15 until when I was 27,’ David explained. I’m sold overnight, and the next thing I know, I’m in a city where I don’t understand the language. More importantly, I was separated from my family.
‘Every time we woke up, we felt like there was something extra…’ We both felt like we were drowning rather than losing each other at the moment.’
When asked how their marriage survived the crisis, Beckham said he feared playing football while his wife fought to find a way out.
‘I honestly don’t know how we got through it. Victoria means everything to me, so seeing her in pain was heartbreaking, but we’re fighters, and at the time, we needed to fight for each other and our family.
‘And we had something worth fighting for. Some days, I would wake up and wonder, “How am I going to get to work?” How am I going to step onto that practice field? ‘How am I going to appear to have nothing wrong?’ Every day when I opened my eyes, I felt physically nauseous and wondered, ‘How am I going to do this?’
Mrs Beckham and her husband relocated to Madrid, where they purchased a £3 million property, which she claims she designed herself. She later gave birth to the couple’s third son, Cruz, now 18, in Madrid.
Despite the change, she acknowledges she was unhappy with her decision to leave the UK.
‘As soon as I could get the kids in school, we moved full-time,’ she explained. Did I harbor a grudge against David? If I’m being completely honest, I did. If I’m being honest, it was perhaps the most unhappy I’ve ever been in my life. It wasn’t that I felt unheard since I opted to internalize a lot of it because I was always cognizant of his need for attention.’
Mrs Beckham described their stay in Madrid as a “nightmare” and “absolute circus,” while Beckham described the school run as “live on Spanish TV.”
