Kenyans adore come-we-stay marriages for the following 10 reasons:
- Chef de style food
Instead of the thin chapos and surwa mandondo (beans and soup) that the kajamaa was used to buying from mama wa kibanda or mutura with thufu from roadside butcheries, the ka-woman automatically becomes the chef, and well-cooked home food is guaranteed.
- Dowry is expensive.
Kenyan men despise weddings. Come-we-stay spares them the agony of tense dowry negotiations and dubious wedding planners. There is no need for harambees or goat-eating parties to raise funds for a wedding. The two things a man loses in this arrangement are wardrobe space and the ability to cook. But, after all, doesn’t a woman always have the best advice?
- kilo lungula
Quality sex is always available as and when it is required, and what sane Kenyan man can resist this? This jamaa knows that if she walks through ‘Machozi Monday’ in the city center, he will be served lungula without complaining about headaches or teargas!
- Dobi in-house
When a woman becomes a regular bedmate with her ten suitcases in tow, leaving the God-fearing mama nguo jobless, it’s time to say goodbye. There will be no going to the dobi, unless it is for the sake of the fake Gucci suit, which will resemble something spat out by a cow if not dry-cleaned!
- There is no kelele FM.
The bachelor dictates that a come-we-stay wife will not scream when he returns home at 3 a.m. after watching football at his favorite bar. She is also not permitted to inquire as to who he was socializing with!
- ‘Ball’ biliary stress
There are no morning-after pills permitted in the house. If he can’t knock up his woman, how will he gain bragging rights when he’s with his boys? ‘Ball’ will suffice to demonstrate that the guy works hard not only in the boardroom, but also in the bedroom, huh?
- Nyorosha wangu mtu
Couples like this arrangement because it is only temporary. It has an exit latch, so if it doesn’t work out, we can just leave without getting heartburned! There will be no drama, no video, no lawyers, and a harsh judge!
- Jobless enclave
A jobless girl uses the guy’s crib as a sort of ‘jobless corner,’ tarmacking in between forsaking manicure to fua jeans and kukanda chapo. She only does this for a short time before finding a sponsor and relocating to a two-bedroom servant’s quarters in Kilimani.
- Hooking down a dude
After three years of dating a guy and no signs of him proposing, the kawoman usually moves in, stops taking the daily pill, and voila! she misses her periods. This is where a man’s character is truly tested. Unfortunately, the majority of them fail, and she joins the already crowded ‘Single Mothers Club.’
- Our type of polygamy
Men can enjoy wifey services at home while also dating other women because come-we-stay affairs keep them in bachelor mindsets.
